Life and all it's potholes

When was it while we were kids, that we ever heard someone of maturity tell us " Life is hard and you will face a multitude of challenges, however what matters is all about whats in your heart"? "It's all about dusting yourself off with dignity and stepping into the unknown with courage and faith in yourself"

I suppose the closest I received was from my father who's analogy I still think about and retail regularly. It goes something like this," Life is like a road......a road full of potholes. As you set out on the road you fall in a pothole. You pick yourself up, climb out of the hole and carry on. You go along smoothly for a short time and fall in another pothole. Again you drag yourself out and carry on. About a third of the way down the road you begin to recognise that it's a pothole ahead but can't help but fall in, however, again you pick yourself up and head on. As you go along , almost at the end of the road you begin to not only recognise the potholes but you strategically dodge them and have a pothole -free trip to the end"

Now I was never a problematic child, an outstanding student of ballet and scholastic pursuits until I lost my career at a young age. True to the story of my fathers teaching I dragged myself out of loss and into a new endeavour.
It was again due to outside factors, namely a lying, stealing, money grubbing man whore that I lost everything I earned from my career and everything I worked on for 5 years, including my first born son, that again I stepped from a road worth several mil into a pothole that was so deep it lasted 5 years.

While feeling dark and jaded with life, in that hole I met someone I thought brightened the dim crevasses of uncertainty that I felt. Big mistake! I had in fact attracted a like, darkened being whose pothole may last him the rest of his life.
It really doesn't make it easy on me now dealing with him for our sons sake when I have long since dragged myself away from the bitterness and resentment that he feels toward me every moment of his days. The statement "No good deed goes unpunished" really is apt of him and unfortunately a representation of a true dark being.

Though I am back on the smooth road of life for now, the people from the "pothole period" are a nemesis I will always have to endure. Changing them is not an option, trying to enlighten them not a path I would ever consider as I don't subscribe to bible bashing and the monotonous regularity of life's everyday problems really does go on and on regardless of their negativity.

At the age of 33 with my 'new' career growing by the day, in my heart I only hope that the next pothole will not be as deep or as wide. Perhaps by my own making I can dodge it to the extent that I only catch the outer edge or even though I'm not quite old enough, is it possible that I might only ever have a lot of dirt road ridges to ride!?
Only time will tell, but for now I'm glad I'm pothole free. On that note, what has become a favorite saying, everyone should remind themselves of when times are tough "If you want to be a true success then don't dwell on present defeat"

That brings up a decision I have put off for many years, (15 in fact) that I wont any longer.
While seeing the dancing potential in my son over the last few months and nights of him begging me to to put on my point shoes and dance with him I know I have to make the decision to again go under the knife.

It's not an easy decision, as I have already endured lengthy surgeries and rehab in the past. It's a complicated procedure that could see me loosing much of my balance or worse, however not being able to truly move the way I did now has purpose in my life, for my sons benefit.
Perhaps this is the next pothole, I wish my father had also told me that it is only the potholes that test our strength and courage.

I will leave you will some wisdom that I hope I find fitting during future events.

"True humility means giving joy to others"

"When there is hope in the heart, a smile can be found on the face"

and,

"A leap of faith will definitely have a smooth and safe landing."


Morgana XXX